The Power of Choice

When I was younger, I came upon a truth that had two aspects. I designed a coin to express this truth, each side bearing a statement that represented one of the two aspects. The coin is about taking responsibility for your choices; and allowing others to be responsible for theirs.

One side of this coin had the words, “You cannot MAKE anyone do anything.”

The other side had the words, “No-one can MAKE you do anything.”

Only you can be responsible for the choices you make. The only exception to this is a parents choices until a child is of age to make their own.

Some have argued that a person can be coerced or forced. While there are many situations where that seems to be the case, this truth is about the choices people make. Others say there are choices that effect their lives which are not choices they made. I would say that in such cases, they have made a default choice; allowing someone else to make choices for them - which is also a choice. -Opting not to make a choice is a choice in itself.-

~ What Is Responsibility? ~

The way to exercise control of your life and express your personal power and freedom is to take responsibility for your choices. Occasionally I feel it is a burden to be responsible, and seek to hand that off to someone else in order to “let go” and “have fun”… Then I remember that is the lure of those who want me to allow them the power of making choices for me. I can have fun and be spontaneous while still taking responsibility for my choices.

There’s another way to phrase “taking responsibility” that is generally viewed more positively; that is “taking credit”. When we create something and share it with others, we happily take credit for the accomplishment. That accomplishment happened as a result of a choice.

It would appear that taking responsibility for a choice and taking credit for a choice are two aspects of the same thing. One cast in a desirable light, and the other as a burden; and this seems to be the difference between the terms.

~ Owning Choices ~

By definition, we want desirable outcomes for our choices. Why else would we make the choices we do? It’s well known throughout most cultures that growth and wisdom come as a result of learning from mistakes. When we shy away from our mistakes and fail to learn from them, we are destined to repeat them.

Personally, I find it empowering to own my choices. My choices are always made in the most desirable way I know how to make them. If they turn out to be a mistake, then I find power in learning why I didn’t get the desired outcome. This curiosity to learn from mistakes enables me to make ever better choices as I continue thru life.

~ In Conclusion ~

I choose to own my choices, and take both the credit and responsibility for them. In doing so, I continue to grow and learn and become a more excellent version of who I am. My choices become my lessons; both accomplishment and mistake. If I get desirable results, then I know what to do next time, and if I don’t, then I know what not to do.

At the same time, I don’t seek to make choices for others. To do so robs them of the chance for them to grow and learn. I made the choice to help others become more excellent versions of themselves; I do that by sharing with them, not making choices for them. Own your choices by taking responsibility for them, and allow others to be responsible for theirs.

There is power in owning your choices. Claim it, own it, the choice is yours after all!

Questions, comments and discussion are all welcome at the Fellowship of Excellence G+ community. Looking forward to your thoughts!

Spirituality - A pillar of civilized society

The subject of spirituality has more to do with the vitality of the miracle we call “life” than it does about whether or not there is a God. Some believe that all of creation is a result of some random happy happenstance. Some believe in a personal God with whom to communicate thru prayers. Some believe there is an intelligence responsible for creation, but that this intelligence is not embodied in a single entity, but is instead part of everything that is. Some believe things I can’t imagine without further study.

Unfortunately, too many get hung up on questions that I find distracting from the subject of spirituality; such as:

          “Does God exist?”

          “If not, how can so many wondrous mysteries be explained?”

          “If so, what is God’s name, and what does God want from us?”

          “Is God a male, or female, or both, or neither?”

          “What’s God’s favorite hair and clothing styles?”

These questions are fine for those who enjoy talking about such things. However they have little to do with spirituality itself.

~ What Is Spirituality? ~

Our spirit is the life force within. It may be consciousness, it may be emotional, it may be something else entirely, or a combination of these things. However, what we know is that we currently have life, and thus, we have spirit (if you are not currently living as you read this, then let me know, and I will make efforts to redefine this part). We also know we have intrinsic motivations that can not solely be attributed to physical desires. When we satisfy our spiritual desires, we have a positive emotional response.

The desire to understand why we feel awe and wonder, during those times when we do, is the desire to develop a spiritual understanding. When we become fascinated with a puzzle or mystery and feel compelled to figure it out, that is an expression of the intrinsic motivation of our spirit.

~ The Problem ~

When people seek to understand the connection they feel for something greater than themselves (the awe and wonder of looking at the stars on a clear moonless night for instance), they turn to those who claim to have some answers. Almost all turn to fellow humans for answers. Some organizations such as scientific institutes or organized religions of the world claim to have answers.

However, none of these organizations have all the answers. In fact, that tends to be one thing they all agree on. Science is continually searching to understand more and more of our universe, how it works, and what it all could mean; never once claiming to have all the answers. At the same time, religions generally have some point at which there are mysteries that are divine, and unknowable to us.

This becomes a problem when doctrine starts getting in the way of our pursuit of understanding. As a whole, we agree that we are alive; but we disagree on how and why we are alive. Inadvertently, we have pigeonholed spirituality into boxes of religion or science (which claims not to have anything to do with spirituality, but really science just uses different words for the same thing - the magic of life).

~ Freedom From Religion, Not Freedom Of Religion ~

When it comes to religion, I can think of no other social system that does more to promote segregation. “Divide and conquer” is a well-known term attributed to Philip II, king of Macedon in the 3^rd century BC, and is a strategy used to break up large groups to be more manageable.

Many religions believe in the need for salvation; be it from hell, or oblivion, etc. This belief is then followed with rules that must be followed in order to be granted salvation. The segregating belief follows the logical course to conclude that those who do not follow the rules of salvation as they understand them are (at best) lost, or (at worst) knowingly evil.

The concept, “Freedom from religion, not freedom of religion” is one which I will write an article for itself. For now I will just say that segregation does not lead to an open and honest flow of communication and ideas between people; likewise, it does not lead to a higher understanding of spirituality.

~ A Real Discussion Of Spirituality ~

The ability to discuss spirituality, consciousness, emotions, and life as something we are continuously learning about and growing with is foundational to a civilized society. It is the purpose of this post to spark real discussions about spirituality, and set aside the distractions of whether or not God exists as an entity.

Personally, I believe that intelligent life exists within me and around me; and because I can feel awe and wonder, then I am part of a larger system of life. That larger system includes you, and everything else in the whole of creation. I believe the sum of all intelligence, in every way that intelligence is expressed, is greater than my intelligence alone. Therefore, I believe in a greater intelligence, though I do not feel a need to argue about defining it.

I hope this provides a new way to discuss spirituality as understandings we can grow in and share with each other. Sharing with each other in this way is everything segregation is not.

Comments, questions, ideas and discussions of everything mentioned here and more, is welcome and encouraged. Please feel free to join the discussion at the G+ community, Fellowship of Excellence. 

Thanks for reading!

FoE Introduction

The Fellowship of Excellence is a group of persons seeking excellence in all areas of life. This goal is both personal and global. There are core beliefs shared by all members of the FoE. These beliefs build upon one another. The foundational beliefs are:

~ No-one Knows Everything ~

No matter how much I would like to, there is no possible way for me to know all there is. Thus, it stands to reason that everything I believe is subject to change as I learn new things. This belief underlies all other beliefs I have. At the same time, this also means no one else knows everything either. We all learn and grow together, and are all subject to being right, and wrong.

The benefit of this belief as the most important foundational belief is that it means it is alright for me to be wrong. My beliefs change according to supporting evidence; be it logical reasoning, experimental results, or personal experience. The more evidence there is for something, the stronger the belief. If the evidence changes to no longer support an old belief, then it is okay to change my beliefs based on the evidence there is.

~ Experience Is Unique ~

My personal experience in life is formed by many things. Among them are my thoughts and emotions, the situations and events I find myself in and at, and my free will to make the choices I deem to be the best I can from moment to moment. These things form the experience of my life. My personal experience is what truly makes me unique in all of existence. No one else will ever be in exactly the same situations, and have the exact same thoughts and feelings.  My unique experience is the way in which I am unique; and so are you.

~ Experience Has Structure ~

Experience is not random; it has structure that can be learned, trained, developed, changed, taught, modeled, and much more. This fact allows me to grow in all areas of my life; as a person. I am not stuck with any parts of my life I do not want. Because my choices all have their reasons, this means they are based on a personal structure. My personal structure is constantly in a state of being redefined, and as such, my experience is in a state of continual creation. By my choices, I define myself from moment to moment.

~ Mastery Is Achievable, Perfection Is Not ~

 Since perfection is subjective, my definition of what perfection is changes as I change. Because of this, the closer I get to reaching perfection the more likely it is that my definition of perfection will change. Thus, to seek perfection is to set myself up for disappointment.

Mastery is achievable as it is a measure of proficiency. Once I have reached a level of mastery, it becomes easier to see what else I can master next. Sometimes, this is further mastery of a single discipline, other times it is something completely different. Mastery is not a destination, but a way point of accomplishment along the road of life.

~ Pursuit of Excellence Leads To Mastery ~

In whatever I seek to do, I want to be good at it. "Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly... at first." (~unknown) To master something (anything), you must pursue excellence in it. Thus, excellence itself in whatever I choose to do, is the object of my dedication. When I am kind to someone, I seek to do so more excellently than I have before. When I cook breakfast, I seek to do so more excellently than I have before.

~ Everyone Is Uniquely Excellent ~

Just like every individual has a completely unique life experience, so every individual also has a different idea of what is excellent to them. This means that everyone has a unique excellence within them which can be expressed, grown, taught, learned from, and nurtured. People are excellent individuals no matter what race, gender, age, or other perceived segregation label is applied.

Not all seek to develop or improve their experience in life. The choice is theirs and should be honored whatever it may be. It is my honor to make my own excellent choices, and help others in their pursuit of personal excellence by sharing what I know to help them improve their lives. This is the point of sharing my version of excellence, as well as being open to the excellence others share with me.

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Members of the Fellowship of Excellence seek to continue creating excellent life experiences. Another common belief is that every society is made up of a diverse collection of individuals. If you help individuals to develop excellence within themselves, you help society as a whole to become more excellent.

This is the heart of the Fellowship of Excellence; a fellowship of like-minded persons helping each other develop personal excellence in all areas of life.

Comments, questions and discussion is gratefully welcomed at the G+ community, Fellowship of Excellence. If you feel inclined to do so, please join us there!

Welcome!