The Power of Choice

When I was younger, I came upon a truth that had two aspects. I designed a coin to express this truth, each side bearing a statement that represented one of the two aspects. The coin is about taking responsibility for your choices; and allowing others to be responsible for theirs.

One side of this coin had the words, “You cannot MAKE anyone do anything.”

The other side had the words, “No-one can MAKE you do anything.”

Only you can be responsible for the choices you make. The only exception to this is a parents choices until a child is of age to make their own.

Some have argued that a person can be coerced or forced. While there are many situations where that seems to be the case, this truth is about the choices people make. Others say there are choices that effect their lives which are not choices they made. I would say that in such cases, they have made a default choice; allowing someone else to make choices for them - which is also a choice. -Opting not to make a choice is a choice in itself.-

~ What Is Responsibility? ~

The way to exercise control of your life and express your personal power and freedom is to take responsibility for your choices. Occasionally I feel it is a burden to be responsible, and seek to hand that off to someone else in order to “let go” and “have fun”… Then I remember that is the lure of those who want me to allow them the power of making choices for me. I can have fun and be spontaneous while still taking responsibility for my choices.

There’s another way to phrase “taking responsibility” that is generally viewed more positively; that is “taking credit”. When we create something and share it with others, we happily take credit for the accomplishment. That accomplishment happened as a result of a choice.

It would appear that taking responsibility for a choice and taking credit for a choice are two aspects of the same thing. One cast in a desirable light, and the other as a burden; and this seems to be the difference between the terms.

~ Owning Choices ~

By definition, we want desirable outcomes for our choices. Why else would we make the choices we do? It’s well known throughout most cultures that growth and wisdom come as a result of learning from mistakes. When we shy away from our mistakes and fail to learn from them, we are destined to repeat them.

Personally, I find it empowering to own my choices. My choices are always made in the most desirable way I know how to make them. If they turn out to be a mistake, then I find power in learning why I didn’t get the desired outcome. This curiosity to learn from mistakes enables me to make ever better choices as I continue thru life.

~ In Conclusion ~

I choose to own my choices, and take both the credit and responsibility for them. In doing so, I continue to grow and learn and become a more excellent version of who I am. My choices become my lessons; both accomplishment and mistake. If I get desirable results, then I know what to do next time, and if I don’t, then I know what not to do.

At the same time, I don’t seek to make choices for others. To do so robs them of the chance for them to grow and learn. I made the choice to help others become more excellent versions of themselves; I do that by sharing with them, not making choices for them. Own your choices by taking responsibility for them, and allow others to be responsible for theirs.

There is power in owning your choices. Claim it, own it, the choice is yours after all!

Questions, comments and discussion are all welcome at the Fellowship of Excellence G+ community. Looking forward to your thoughts!

Super-Learning: A Method to Getting Out of Your Way

When it comes to modalities (Visual, Audio, Kinesthetic, etc), I never considered myself to be much of an audible person. However, I know (intellectually) that I use all my senses to gather information, including my ears. Hearing may not be my strongest modality, but I still depend on it regularly throughout each day. It’s my guess, this situation is not limited to just me. This article was written as a result of a brief conversation with Andrea Sumers.

~ What is Super-Learning? ~

Super-Learning is a method that accelerates the learning process using the audible modality. In the field of hypnosis, there are a series of steps for any session.

1> Focus the attention of the client (also known as “induction”).

2> Distract the conscious mind (also known as “by-passing the critical factor”).

3> Use a "deepener" strategy to “lock” the conscious mind out of the way.

4> Input suggestions for change (this is where the learning program or lecture fits in).

5> Re-orient the client, allowing the conscious mind to return to normal awareness.

[Note: I use the term “client” to mean “the person being hypnotized”, even for self-hypnosis.]

There are many ways to accomplish all of these steps, and many programs to teach them. When using light hypnosis as a tool for accelerated learning, that is Super-Learning.

~ The Learning Problem ~

When I apply Super-Learning to study courses, the information is allowed directly into my subconscious mind without the hassle of my conscious mind getting in the way. In fact, the conscious mind can only handle 7 bits of information (+/- about 2 bits) at any one point in time. This is one reason we feel overwhelmed or get confused if we have many different facts tossed at us at one time, and we’re expected to remember them all.

Brute force memorization is probably the worst form of learning there is. There is certainly a time and place for it (as there is for everything), but it falls short as the “go to” default since it involves more work than is needed for most learning. This is where repetition comes in.

Repetition is well documented and accepted as the power behind really learning something. While this is true to a certain degree, it is most often misapplied as the reason for brute force memorization thru repetition. This method of learning (more often than not) results in frustration, and general feelings if inadequacy. So why are we all taught this is the way to learn?

~ Getting Out of Your Own Way ~

If you need to take something away from a toddler there are some things you can expect. If you just take it away, you can expect anything from fussy disappointment to full blown tantrum. Mothers learn quickly there is a power in distraction and substitution. If you need to take something away from a toddler without the fuss, you better be in the process of handing that toddler something else to be interested in.

This same concept is what happens with our conscious. Our conscious mind wants to be in the middle of everything we do; even if it slows everything to a crawl. When our conscious mind wants to be in control, it tries to handle everything that comes in and analyze it all. We are taught to memorize stuff, and so we try to do so. This is especially true of things we feel is important to learn.

When you want to learn something, it is easiest to do when your conscious mind is not getting in the way. The goal then is to find a means to busy your conscious mind and get it out of your way. There are many ways to do this, but they all involve some form of Super-Learning as described above. I’ll give a few examples of these methods.

~ Doodling, Jogging, & Soundscape Mapping ~

Doodling has been around for a very long time, and most of us have doodled something at some point in time. Most of the time, doodling is done while listening to a lecture, such as in a classroom or during a board meeting. Why? Because when we doodle, we are distracting the conscious mind from what is going on, and allowing the subconscious to absorb the information audibly.

The same thing happens when you play a game like solitaire or perform a repetitive activity such as jogging. Jogging tends to work better for people who are more kinesthetic, whereas doodling seems easiest for more visual people. For those who are already audible, Soundscape mapping seems to work well.

Soundscape mapping is a method of closing the eyes and focusing on subtle sounds in the area, focusing awareness beyond the sound of the lecture. The point is to divert the analytical conscious mind to something else, and therefore allow the subconscious to have full access to the lecture.

~ Finding Balance ~

There is a catch to using these types of distraction methods though. If the distraction uses too much of your cognitive skills, then your subconscious mind becomes focused on the distraction and away from the lecture. If the distraction uses too little of your cognitive skills, then your conscious mind becomes bored, and can actually hinder your learning efforts as it begins to mentally fidget.

Finding your personal balance is an essential and very deliberate thing to do. The better you get at finding and then maintaining your personal balance, the more supercharged your learning becomes.

~ Intention Directs the Capacity of Super-Learning ~

The best way to find your personal balance and maintain it is to direct your intention. This is the underlying psychology behind why methods of intentional doodling (like Zendoodling) work as well as they do.

Intentionally doodling with the purpose to distract the conscious mind and allow yourself to slip into a light hypnotic trance performs the task of distracting your conscious mind, while naturally being flexible enough to easily find and maintain an optimum balance for Super-Learning.

~ In Practice ~

In the late 1970’s, an experiment was done at a private K-12 school in California (which will remain unnamed for now as I do not have their permission to mention them). As a child, I was attending that school during the time when this experiment of intentional doodling was being taught as a learning tool. As the instructor would lecture on a topic, the students were to doodle while listening.

The students had to be able to answer questions if asked, and were to ask questions if they had them (which they did). This requirement seemed to turn random doodling into intentional doodling. The result of the experiment was an amazing increase of retention, ease of learning, and higher testing scores across the board.

I have heard of many other experiments done along these same lines. In fact, during the tutor training course I took, the other students and I (all adults) were told to play with wooden blocks while listening to the lectures to increase our learning; this is another example of the same Super-Learning principle.

Unfortunately, this research doesn’t seem to have reached public schools yet. I personally know it’s been around for decades as an amazing, proven, time-tested learning tool. So why isn’t it more widely taught, and used? Why torture students with the old brute-force memorization method of learning for everything?

~ In Closing ~

The easy way to do this yourself is to get some paper (or use the borders of your note-taking paper), and a pen or pencil (I prefer pencil since shading becomes part of my intentional doodling fun), and doodle with simple shapes; lines, squiggles, circles, curves, and angles. These are the basic palette to use.

The object is not to draw something specific. The object is to doodle something abstract and detailed. A few small circles bunched together, connecting to a squiggly line that is then traced in parallel a few times, and so on. The intentional doodle should focus more on small details than on any big picture.

Here is the important part for true Super-Learning: While creating your super-detailed doodling, have your lecture or audio training program (which is what I prefer) playing and pay just enough attention to make sure you can answer questions about what is going on if someone were to ask you.

I said I prefer audio training programs. The reason is because I can listen to the same one multiple times. Using the Super-Learning method of intentional doodling while listening to an audio program I have listened to before increases the power of learning by adding repetition. Generally, I give myself some time between repeats for my subconscious to digest what it has learned (which is much less time than trying memorize by brute-force).

<> <> <>

Thanks for reading this article. Comments, questions, discussion, and stories concerning this article (or any of the articles from this blog) are all welcome at the G+ community, Fellowship of Excellence.

We're looking forward to what you have to share there!

Spirituality - A pillar of civilized society

The subject of spirituality has more to do with the vitality of the miracle we call “life” than it does about whether or not there is a God. Some believe that all of creation is a result of some random happy happenstance. Some believe in a personal God with whom to communicate thru prayers. Some believe there is an intelligence responsible for creation, but that this intelligence is not embodied in a single entity, but is instead part of everything that is. Some believe things I can’t imagine without further study.

Unfortunately, too many get hung up on questions that I find distracting from the subject of spirituality; such as:

          “Does God exist?”

          “If not, how can so many wondrous mysteries be explained?”

          “If so, what is God’s name, and what does God want from us?”

          “Is God a male, or female, or both, or neither?”

          “What’s God’s favorite hair and clothing styles?”

These questions are fine for those who enjoy talking about such things. However they have little to do with spirituality itself.

~ What Is Spirituality? ~

Our spirit is the life force within. It may be consciousness, it may be emotional, it may be something else entirely, or a combination of these things. However, what we know is that we currently have life, and thus, we have spirit (if you are not currently living as you read this, then let me know, and I will make efforts to redefine this part). We also know we have intrinsic motivations that can not solely be attributed to physical desires. When we satisfy our spiritual desires, we have a positive emotional response.

The desire to understand why we feel awe and wonder, during those times when we do, is the desire to develop a spiritual understanding. When we become fascinated with a puzzle or mystery and feel compelled to figure it out, that is an expression of the intrinsic motivation of our spirit.

~ The Problem ~

When people seek to understand the connection they feel for something greater than themselves (the awe and wonder of looking at the stars on a clear moonless night for instance), they turn to those who claim to have some answers. Almost all turn to fellow humans for answers. Some organizations such as scientific institutes or organized religions of the world claim to have answers.

However, none of these organizations have all the answers. In fact, that tends to be one thing they all agree on. Science is continually searching to understand more and more of our universe, how it works, and what it all could mean; never once claiming to have all the answers. At the same time, religions generally have some point at which there are mysteries that are divine, and unknowable to us.

This becomes a problem when doctrine starts getting in the way of our pursuit of understanding. As a whole, we agree that we are alive; but we disagree on how and why we are alive. Inadvertently, we have pigeonholed spirituality into boxes of religion or science (which claims not to have anything to do with spirituality, but really science just uses different words for the same thing - the magic of life).

~ Freedom From Religion, Not Freedom Of Religion ~

When it comes to religion, I can think of no other social system that does more to promote segregation. “Divide and conquer” is a well-known term attributed to Philip II, king of Macedon in the 3^rd century BC, and is a strategy used to break up large groups to be more manageable.

Many religions believe in the need for salvation; be it from hell, or oblivion, etc. This belief is then followed with rules that must be followed in order to be granted salvation. The segregating belief follows the logical course to conclude that those who do not follow the rules of salvation as they understand them are (at best) lost, or (at worst) knowingly evil.

The concept, “Freedom from religion, not freedom of religion” is one which I will write an article for itself. For now I will just say that segregation does not lead to an open and honest flow of communication and ideas between people; likewise, it does not lead to a higher understanding of spirituality.

~ A Real Discussion Of Spirituality ~

The ability to discuss spirituality, consciousness, emotions, and life as something we are continuously learning about and growing with is foundational to a civilized society. It is the purpose of this post to spark real discussions about spirituality, and set aside the distractions of whether or not God exists as an entity.

Personally, I believe that intelligent life exists within me and around me; and because I can feel awe and wonder, then I am part of a larger system of life. That larger system includes you, and everything else in the whole of creation. I believe the sum of all intelligence, in every way that intelligence is expressed, is greater than my intelligence alone. Therefore, I believe in a greater intelligence, though I do not feel a need to argue about defining it.

I hope this provides a new way to discuss spirituality as understandings we can grow in and share with each other. Sharing with each other in this way is everything segregation is not.

Comments, questions, ideas and discussions of everything mentioned here and more, is welcome and encouraged. Please feel free to join the discussion at the G+ community, Fellowship of Excellence. 

Thanks for reading!

NLP for the Kinesthetic

I had been meaning to create this blog for some time. Then I came across a question by +Travis Ramage in the G+ Community NLP, Timeline Therapy & Hypnosis, and wanted to help him with an issue I have heard people asking for help with many times.

~ The Problem ~

While we all use all of our modalities (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, etc) most people are primarily visual learners, seconded by auditory learners. Even so, there are many people who prefer a very hands-on kind of learning because they learn best by doing. For these people, life is more difficult, since most systems cater to Visual learners, and then Auditory learners.

"Why don't more systems cater to Kinesthetic learners?" The simple explanation is it is more difficult to explain feelings and sensations in the context of teaching other than doing so hands-on, and in person. Even then, it is sometimes tricky because those who have learned via Visual or Auditory means tend to try teaching using those same methods.

~ A Solution ~

One solution to the problem is to figure out some way to increase acuity in Visual or Auditory modalities. For instance, Travis (hope you don't mind being an example Travis) is more of a kinesthetic learner. He wants to make use of NLP patterns which are mostly taught with visual learners in mind. So he asks (in his post) for help learning how to visualize.

Learning to visualize is one solution Travis can use. It will take practice and dedication to become good at visualization since Travis is a kinesthetic learner; I fully believe Travis can do this if he puts the effort into it.

There's an inherent downside to this solution though. Travis wants to make use of the NLP patterns in the way that will provide him with the powerful change he seeks. That is one of the primary purposes of practicing NLP after all. Learning to visualize will be awesome for Travis, but since it is not his primary learning modality, visualization will never be as powerful for Travis as a kinesthetic method could be.

~ Another Solution ~

Another solution is to learn the skill of tailoring NLP patterns into kinesthetic patterns. While this skill will also take time and practice to master, just as enhancing visualization skills would be, it has the added benefit of being more powerful for Travis since it makes use of his primary learning modality.

Tailoring NLP patterns from one modality to another can be done for any pattern and any modality. Here are the basics of how this is done:

The first thing to do is identify the framework (the way the pattern works). Next, you want to figure out what  is really going on with the pattern; what makes it work. Finally, apply the new modality to the framework of the pattern.
(This is harder to explain without an example, so I will provide an example below.)

~ Transmuting Modalities For The Swish Pattern ~

In order to alter the Swish pattern for a kinesthetic learner, I borrow from another pattern called the Circle of Excellence. The reason I do this is because the Circle of Excellence is primarily a kinesthetic pattern, which means it has elements I can use.

(For the purposes of this post, I am going to assume readers are already familiar with the Swish pattern. Thus, I will touch on points of it, but not go into great detail)

First, we identify the framework of the classic Swish pattern:

1> Visualize a picture of yourself with the state you desire, in a situation appropriate to when and where you want that state expressed. Mentally set this Positive picture aside.

2> Visualize a picture of yourself in the state you wish to change away from, in the situation where it is a problem for you. Mentally set this Negative picture aside.

3> Visualize a distant point where the Positive picture is super tiny, fuzzy, still, and colorless.

4> Over the top of the distant point, visualize the Negative picture as huge, clear, vividly colored, and animated.

5> As quick as you can, shrink the Negative picture to that distant spot while draining the color from it, allowing it to get fuzzy, and slowing all motion to a halt.

6> At the same time as step 5, grow the Positive picture to become huge and trade places with the Negative picture; watch it fill with vivid and crisp colors as it becomes clear and animated.

(Steps 5 & 6 happen at the same time, as quick as you can. This is the "Swish" part. It is alright for this to be slow the first couple times, it will speed up as you repeat it a few times as mentioned in step 8.)

7> Break state for a moment, and reset both pictures to their starting points. (It is vital you do not swish them back to their starting points. This is resetting, not swishing back.)

8> Repeat steps 5 thru 7 at least 6 times, getting faster each time.

9> Fully allow yourself to visualize a few situations in the future where this new state would be used.

<> <> <>

As you can see, the Swish pattern requires plenty of visualization.
So next, we figure out what is really going on:

A> In steps 1 & 2, we are creating two anchors for Positive and Negative states in relation to a specific type of situation.

B> In steps 3 & 4, we are creating two "locations" to swish between; a Powerful location and a Weak location. The "locations" are defined using sub-modalities. In the example above, the sub-modalities I used are size (huge & tiny), clarity (clear & fuzzy), color (vivid & drained), distance (close & far), and motion (animated & still). I generally use 4 to 5 sub-modalities when using the Swish pattern.

C> In steps 5 & 6, we are "swishing" the anchors between the locations. The Negative anchor begins at the Powerful location and swishes to the Weak location, while the Positive anchor begins at the Weak location and swishes to the Powerful location.
(This drains the power out of the Negative and gives it to the Positive)

D> In steps 7 & 8, we stop and reset everything to repeat the swish in a single direction; each time making the Negative incrementally weaker, and the Positive equally more powerful. It is vital to stop and reset instead of just swishing back and forth, because being wishy-washy with the power doesn't drain it from one and fill the other as well as doing it only one way.

E> In step 9, we are "future pacing" the change to help lock in the Positive state for future situations where it is applicable.

<> <> <>

Now that we know what's going on with the pattern at a fundamental level, you keep the framework while applying a new modality.

A> Create two anchors for Positive and Negative states in relation to the situation. This is where I would take a page out of the Circle of Excellence pattern by designating two physical locations on the ground; one each to represent the Positive and Negative states.

B> Next, choose a few physical sub-modalities to use as physical means to represent the Powerful and the Weak. For this example I will use facial muscles (smile & frown), hands (clenched fist & limp), arms (high in victory & drooped at side), posture (standing proud & slouched), and head angle (looking down & looking up).

C> Swish by stepping from the Negative physical location and its associated state to the Positive physical location and its associated state, while swishing all the sub-modalities from the Weak to the Powerful.

D> Step away from both physical locations and assume a completely neutral posture for all sub-modalities. (This resets without inadvertently swishing back.) Repeat multiple times, resetting between each.

E> Future-pace by imagining how it will feel for you when the appropriate situation next presents itself to you.

~ The Kinesthetic Swish Pattern ~

I can now write all the steps using the new modality. (Notice that the steps do not directly match-up with those of the regular Swish, but instead follow a logical progression outlined above.)

1>  Using a pointed finger, indicate a circle on the ground to be the Positive circle. As you step into this circle, imagine feeling the state you desire and the situation in which you desire it, and allow your body to feel it fully. Feel it in the muscles of your arms and legs, in your gut and stomach, feel it in your chest, back, neck and into your head. Allow the Positive feeling to fully wrap around you and thru you. Then step out of the circle leaving all those feelings and the emotional connections they have in the circle.

2> Indicate a second circle on the ground to be the Negative circle. Step into this circle only for a short time as you get a feeling of the way things currently are with the situation you wish to change. You only need to remain there long enough to fully enter the state. make sure to associate the circle on the ground with all the feelings, and then step out of the circle, leaving those feelings there.

3> Test the circles to ensure that simply stepping inside the circle will bring up the correct feelings for that circle. If not, then repeat the steps above until they do. Be sure to step outside either circle and return to a neutral state and do not step directly from one to the other (yet).
(While this step is not specified above, it is a good rule of thumb to test anchors for purity and strength before using them. This applies generally to all anchor setting and usage.)

4> While not stepping into either circle, practice the Weak pose. The Weak pose is with the head hanging down with a slight frown, arms and hands limp at your sides, and posture slouched as if your entire body is saying "What's the point of doing anything?"
Then break state and return to neutral. Repeat this a few times to get a good feel for it, ensuring you can return to feeling a neutral state each time.

5> Again, not stepping into either circle, practice the Powerful pose. The Powerful pose is with the head held high and smiling brightly, your arms straightened and raised up in a big "V" for victory, as if you just won a race, fists clenched with strength as you stand tall in an awesome power stance. Make sure to enjoy this pose and really feel the power of it coursing thru every fiber of your being. Then return to a neutral state and practice it a couple more times to ensure you can get into it quickly just when you want to.

6> Now it's time for the swish part of this pattern. To do this, you are going to keep the situation in mind and step into the Negative circle allowing your body to go from neutral to the Weak pose while inside the circle. Then step from that circle into the Positive circle (firmly keeping the situation in mind still) and in a fluid motion swish from the Weak pose in the Negative circle into the Powerful pose in the Positive circle, feeling the full power of the Positive circle combining with the Power stance.

7> Now step outside of either circle and return to a neutral state. You might look about the room a bit and think about something else to really make sure you have broken state.

8> Repeat step 6 and 7 at least 10 times. Each time you do increase the speed you fluidly swish from one to the other. Make the transition as quick and smooth as you can. (Kinesthetic feelings, both physical and emotional, generally take a bit longer to really sink in deeply; but when they do, it's powerfully strong.)

9> Without stepping into either circle, imagine a future time when a similar situation might happen to you, and notice how you feel about it. Do you feel more empowered and full of confidence? If not, go back and repeat steps 6 and 7 a couple more times, being quick about it while keeping the transition smooth, and perhaps making a "swish" sound as you do.

10> Once you have achieved the change you desire, imagine the Positive and Negative circles can be picked up like super thin pieces of paper. Pick up the Positive circle, fold it up and put it somewhere you can easily find it for when you want to use it again next time. Do the same with the negative circle.
 (You should find that the Positive and Negative states are no longer tied to those two physical locations anymore, since the circles have been picked up. Conversely, you can now unfold either of the circles and place them on the ground anywhere you like to get their full effect again whenever needed.)

~ Closing Notes ~

This kind of transmuting of modalities can be done with any NLP pattern, but it does take time to get a feel for doing it. You may have noticed the text for the Kinesthetic Swish is nearly three times that of the standard Swish. This is what I meant by saying it is generally more difficult to explain a pattern kinesthetically as opposed to visually or audibly.

Please let me know if you found this article to be helpful. If you have any questions or comments about this post, or want me to write an article about another aspect of NLP, hypnosis, or anything concerning the FoE, feel free to join the G+ community, Fellowship of Excellence and we can discuss it there.

Thanks for reading and have an awesome day!